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The idea of leaving your loved ones with a big chore (and bills to pay when you pass) isn’t a popular one. Most people want to do everything they can to minimize the burdens their family members have to bear during a time of grief. Of course, most people also don’t follow through. According to the Funeral and Memorial Information Council, 69 percent of adults want to plan ahead for their cremation or traditional burial. But only 17 percent of them actually do it.
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If you’re thinking about ways you can make it easier for your loved ones to take care of affairs after you die, pre-planning is a great option. You may be able to save money, and give your loved ones the ability to grieve without rushing to carry out a big event. Here are a few things you should know as you start planning.
Pre-planning a cremation involves thinking about what you want for your final rest and putting it into writing. You may choose to make formal arrangements and pay for them in advance. Ideally, you’ll have a plan for the following:
The goal here is to have a plan that your loved ones can follow when you pass. By outlining your expectations, you can minimize the amount of research and decision-making they have to do in the early days of grief.
Pre-planning a cremation involves making a written plan for how you want to be cremated. This includes selecting a cremation provider, choosing services from the provider, arranging a memorial service or funeral, instructing how you want your ashes to be handled (buried, interred in an urn niche, kept at home, scattered, etc.), and choosing an urn.
If you have gone through the loss of a close family member and friend, you know that the early days can be a blur of sadness, exhaustion, anger, and other signs of grief. The last thing that you want to do is to force your family members to do some hasty planning at this time. Pre-planning gives them clear guidelines to follow. Your plan could save hours that your loved ones can use to rest, grieve together, or do other preparations.
Everyone has a different idea of what a respectful final rest looks like. Some people prefer a raucous memorial service before a scattering, while others may want a somber funeral service before burial in a cemetery. When you pre-plan your cremation, you can communicate your final wishes in precise detail. That way, your loved ones don’t have to argue about your expectations or make decisions that you wouldn’t want.
Pre-planning usually involves making official arrangements with a crematorium or funeral home and formalizing a way to pay for them. When you make these arrangements, you lock in the current prices for all products and services. Since the cost of cremation goes up over time, you may be able to save some significant money on the cost of your final plans. And if you’ve already paid in advance, then you have fewer debts to pass onto your loved ones.
As people get older, it’s common for them to simplify their expectations to try to remove stress from their daily lives. Toward the end of your life, you may not have the time or money to make arrangements for your final rest. Pre-planning allows you to rest easy, knowing that you have taken care of the most important part of the process on behalf of your loved ones.
If the idea of planning and paying ahead for your cremation and memorial sounds like a financial nightmare, you’re not alone. With the average cremation plan costing $7,000 or more, according to the National Funeral Directors Association, it’s not surprising that most people don’t pay in advance.
The good news is that planning for your final rest isn’t an all-or-nothing proposition. Consider the following options:
Ultimately, every little bit of work you do for your own rest makes life easier for your family. If all you can do is to put a plan in writing and share it with your family, you will still save them hours of stress.
You can choose to pay for your services in full, pay in installments over time, or keep a written agreement with a promise to pay later.
When you start shopping around for services and options, you should know that there are consumer protections that can help you avoid predatory selling practices. The Federal Trade Commission enacted the Funeral Rule in to ensure pricing transparency and to allow consumers maximum flexibility in choosing services. Simply put, the Funeral Rule requires that funeral homes do the following:
The Funeral Rule exists to make it easier for you to shop around and only pay for the services you actually want. Knowledge of your rights can give you more confidence to shop around and find the provider that suits your goals and your budget.
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The Funeral Rule of gives you consumer rights when you conduct business with a funeral home. A funeral home must provide price lists over the , allow you to purchase products and services individually rather than in a package, show you the cost of certain items before you see them in person, accept an urn or casket that you buy elsewhere, and permit you to buy an alternative container instead of a casket for cremation services.
Now that you understand the importance of planning ahead for your cremation, you can start to create your own plan. Give yourself some time to think about what you expect. Once you make arrangements, you may have limited options to change them over time without incurring higher prices.
Before you can make any plans, you need to know what you would like. The beauty of cremation is that you don’t have to do anything in particular, apart from arranging for the actual cremation. If you want to have a lovely memorial service followed by scattering your ashes by air, you’ll have options to do it. Want a traditional service in a funeral home, followed by a graveside service and burial of the remains in a plot? You can have that, too.
Make a wish list of things that you want. Don’t hesitate to dig into the details, including urns, flowers, or decorations at the memorial service. More detail makes it easier to arrange. Be sure to specify what you want your loved ones to do with your ashes. If you plan to have religious services, such as a funeral, you should consult your local religious officials to confirm that they can provide the service that you want.
Once you have an idea for what you want, you should start searching for a provider in your area. These tips can help you choose a provider that will meet your needs:
Although cost may fill a big role in your overall decision-making, you should make sure that the provider gives you more advantages than simply the lowest prices.
When you go to schedule with your cremation provider, you’ll be asked to select certain products and services. These include:
If you’re looking to keep costs down, you can ask which services are an absolute necessity. For example, you don’t have to buy or rent a casket if you’re not planning to have a viewing or service that requires it.
Once you have the list of services you would like, you can make those arrangements right away. The best way to ensure that you get what you want is to pay for it in advance. Your loved one’s aren’t obligated to pay for services that they can’t afford.
Fortunately, you may have several options to finance the prepayment, including:
It’s important to choose a long-term provider with a good reputation. Before you sign any paperwork or make payments, be sure to ask your provider about how they guarantee that your wishes will be carried out when you pass. Find out about refund options or the ability to transfer the prepayment to another facility, and get this information in writing.
If you worry about paying a large amount of money to a cremation provider for a service you may not need for decades, the Funeral Consumers Alliance offers a few alternatives you might consider. For example, you might choose to put the money in a trust that allows you or your next-of-kin to change the terms of the plan if necessary.
Ultimately, the time and money spent planning only matters if you talk to your loved ones about your wishes and put everything in writing. Keep in mind that your next-of-kin has significant decision-making power on your behalf, sometimes in spite of your expressed wishes. If they didn’t anticipate having to carry out a lavish service, they’re not required to follow through with it.
To avoid a lot of stress, confusion, and wasted money, you should talk to your loved ones in advance about your plan. Sit down with everyone involved in the process, which might include family members, friends, religious officiants, and more. Outline your expectations and make sure they understand why you think it’s important. Keep a copy of your arrangements with other important documents.
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